LOST Episode 7 : What ever happened to predictability?
Oh, you didn’t think I’d come back did you? TOO BAD, SUCKERS. I’m lucky I don’t have my friends posting in the comments section about all the times I was said I was writing another recap and nothing got posted. But I’m pretty sure I’m safe in that department since nobody comments. ;(
So do you know how many days it is until February 2nd? EIGHT DAYS! I don’t even like Lost and I’m kind of excited. Good god, will I be making my own dharma jumpsuit by next week? Tune in to find out!
Before this recap even begins, I just want everybody to know how I feel about the title screen. It sucks ass. There is no show on TV that has a worse title screen. The plain unfocused white font, the stupid space music, the unnecessary ROTATING just makes me angry. In fact, the only way to make the title screen more boring is if it was size 12 and in Times New Roman. I would enjoy this show more if it had more… Full House qualities.
LOST Episode 6 : Hurley’s Walkman is the soundtrack to my life
From what I can see, there are only two people on this island who can find meat. There is the geezer with 400 knives and Bassmaster Jin, who is catching fish with his bare hands. Who does he think he is, Surviorman? It’s pretty impressive.
Okay Lost, I get it. You guys love close ups on eyes, but it needs to stop because it’s creeping me out.
Some girl went out for a morning swim and got caught in the riptide. She drowns, which is unfortunate.
There is a water crisis on the island. Everybody has been drinking as much as they pleased but now there’s only a suitcase full of water bottles left. Why the hell is every bottle half empty? I bet Sawyer drank a little from each bottle and licked the rims. It’s just the kind of douchebag move Sawyer would do.
Sawyer probably licked every single one of these bottles
LOST Episode 4 :Phone sex operators don’t want to go out with you
Apparently there are wild boars on the island. They make a lot of noise and scare the poo out of everybody. The group finds out that they are out of food and begin to panic, all except for the Koreans who have already been prepared for this by eating sea urchins and grass.
Everybody else has no choice except to go hunt in the jungle which leaves Bad Ass Mother Fuckin’ Sawyer whiny, surly, and disagreeable as usual. Creepypants Locke decides the best way to enter the conversation is to throw a knife at BAMFSawyer’s face.
Bad Ass Mother Fuckin' Sawyer got in a knife fight once. The knife lost.
LOST Episode 3 : Sun Is Naked in the Middle of the Jungle
The U.S. Marshal that arrested Kate is somehow still the only person who has a serious injury.
If I were in a plane crash, I would put my odds of surviving at 0%. If the back of the plane were to suddenly break off, you can be certain that I would be sitting in the perfect seat that flies off with the back of the plane. There is absolutely no chance that I would miraculously hang on to the seat and climb my way to safety. I just have that kind of luck.
LOST Episode 2 : Hurley Doesn’t Understand the Concept of Sushi
Those Koreans are frickin’ intense. Also what do they expect when they are trying to communicate in Korean? Shouldn’t they use more hand signals? Speaking more Korean doesn’t help anybody. Also, they seem to be the only ones interested in sustainable food. He cut up that sea urchin like a pro. I’m sure there was an uproar about how he treats his wife so I’m not even going to get into it. It’s cute how he tried to share his sea urchin with everybody though. I would have eaten some.
Dude I'm not eating any of your asian stuff. I'm just gonna laugh and be hungry
Jack is apparently a superstar plane crash victim. Everybody should strive to end up in a plane crash with him. He found time in first four minutes of the show to drag a guy out from under some wreckage, rescue a pregnant lady from under an exploding airplane wing, kick some kid’s butt for giving improper CPR, AND find a handful of pens (It is always impossible to find pens, even when you’re not in a plane crash).
The only person he couldn’t save was the idiot who wandered in front of the SUPER LOUD AIRPLANE ENGINE.
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF THIS TURBINE
So I’ve been slowly trying to learn PHP programming to make pixelsandwich a legit comic site. Emphasis on slow. I am half-convinced that my brain is refusing to absorb the PHP knowledge because it doesn’t want to think of comics. Sometimes I’m impressed with the big squishy brainsponge up there. BUT YES I AM WORKING ON THE SITE. So PHP soon? Comics soon? We’ll see.
LOST: My Destiny
Recently, I’ve agreed to watch LOST for my friend Blerta. I’ve claimed that I’ve watched it before, but to tell you the truth I don’t think I’ve ever finished an episode or understood what was going on. Probably because I was too busy boiling in rage that I was missing a GOOD tv show on another channel. Like Becker. LOST always seemed like the show that would never end. New characters are STILL washing up on the island as we speak. I have a feeling that this will be painful.
Thus starts the first PIXELSANDWICH.NET PROJECT of 2010.
Goal: Somehow get through the first season without chucking the DVD box set out the window. (dw it’s not mine) Proof: By writing sarcastic mini-blogs about my experiences watching the episodes. Oh come on, I need to rant somewhere. Consquences: I don’t know, but I’m scared what Blerta will do to me if I don’t at least try.
